Thursday, January 11, 2018

2018/01/11 - Comedians in Cars getting Coffee

Have you seen any of the short online episodes of “Comedians in Cars getting Coffee“? I haven’t seen any in a while, but just found out yesterday that Netflix released 20 re-edited episodes. 

Each episode is now about 25 minutes long, and contains a lot of funny dialog that was edited out for the shorter online versions.

This is now the second TV series that I’ve binge-watched. I finished all 20 episodes in a 24 hour period. Yo Netflix!

I like the way Netflix automatically plays the next episode within the next 12 seconds, unless you stop. It really facilitates binge-watching. 

Friday, January 5, 2018

2018/01/05 - Dark Mirrors

I know that I’ve only a half dozen listeners, but I can pretend that I’m reaching hundreds. And I’m hoping you few will recommend my blog to your friends, if only for my photography. These are my best shots. 

I’ve never “binge watched’ any TV series before, but yesterday I laid on the couch all day watching three of four seasons of “Black Mirror”, a new original Netflix series. And afterwards, I realized that’s I haven’t spend all day on the couch watching TV in over 30 years. How about that for a recommendation?

The show is futeristic (but not too far into), and totally believable. It’s like a “Twilight Zone” of today. All the actors change in each episode (and lots of good ones like Jon Hamm from Mad Men), and each covers futeristic topics on hardware devices, cool software, and futeristic social apps. 

But beware they are dark and scary. And they will stay in your mind.

I recommend starting at the beginning, but if you just what a taste, I recommend starting with epesode 3 of season 1, titled “The Entire of Life of You”, starring Jon Hamm. 

Thursday, January 4, 2018

2018/01/04 - Frank... Go get the Gun!

I was 20 years old. I had a girlfriend Liz living in the women’s dorm at Farmingdale State College in Long Island NY. It’s a long story, but after leaving her room “unescorted” (which was against the rules), I got charged with a misdemeanor, “Criminal Tresspassing and Harassment”. 

It seemed like I was always in some kind of trouble in those days, probably because always was. 

Luckily I got off with an “Application for Consideration of Dismissal”, which meant that if I stayed out of trouble for one whole year, the charge would be dismissed.

Fast forward 11 months, only one month to go. It was hard, but I managed to stay out of trouble. 

On this night Frank, Tony (aka “Jaggerdog”) and I went out to a club on Long Island. As we pulled into and parked our car in the upper level lot, we noticed a crowd and some kind of commotion going on in the lower parking lot. Like moths drawn to a flame, we walked down to check out what was going on. 

When we got there, we watched this big drunken fool yelling and kicking the driver side door of a car, calling for the driver to come out. Instead the driver sped off, but not before the drunken asshole threw his beer bottle at the car, hitting the rear window. 

With nothing left to do with that guy, the drunken fool surveyed the croud looking for his next victom. Like a recurring nightmare that I had as a child, he focused on me, and shouted “And who the fuck are YOU”

I replied “Hey man, l not looking for any trouble”, to which he replied “Well you just found trouble”.

Now my friend Tony wasn’t the biggest guy, nor the strongest guy in the crowd, but what he lacked in size and strength, he more than made up for in balls, quick thinking, and the ability to bluff.

So when he saw what was about to happen, he shouted, loud enough for all to hear, “Frank... Go get the gun in the trunk of the car”, There was no gun in the car, but Frank, playing along and  obeying Tony’s orders, started for our car. 

Hearing this, one of the drunk’s friends shouted “No guns... No guns”, freezing the scene, and within a few minutes we were all stacking hands, and making peace. 

This wasn’t the first time, nor the last, that Tony’s quick thinking saved my ass. 

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

2018/01/03 - The Stuffed Mushrooms

The year was 1974.

I was working in Texaco headquarters, in the Crystler building, in Manhattan. If I’m not mistaken, I had the lowest pay scale job in Texaco. I was a mail carrier. My fellow mail carriers used to joke, and refer to us as carrier pidgins. This was the best job that my bachelors degree in Psychology from Queens College afforded me. So much for college. I should have excepted the job offer I got from the NYC Sanitation Department. I could have retired after 20 years with full pension and medical benefits, but I had my pride.

I worked hard and within a couple of years got promoted to Mail Clerk, and then Administrative Clerk in the Pattent Department. I was still delivering mail, but only within the department, but I got to do some clerical work in between deliveries. Eventually they realized I had a brain, and started giving me data-entry work for their new computer system.

This brings me to my story...

Liz Grabaldi was my supervisor. She was an Administrative Secretary. We got along very well.

Liz had family coming to visit for a holiday, and spent the entire week before they arrived making hors d’oeuvres. On the Friday morning before the event, Liz brought in a Tupperware for me with samples of each hors d’oeuvre. They looked delicious!

Fast forward to the next Monday morning. I was usually the first one into work in my department, and my desk was in a room right outside the Men’s Room.

When I opened my desk draw, I smelled something foul. OMG!, I forgot to take the Tupperware home, and it sat inside my desk drawer spoiling all weekend.

I felt so bad, and I didn’t want to insult Liz with the news, so I devised a plan. I would go into the men’s bathroom before anybody else arrived, flush the contents of the Tupperware down the toilet, clean it out in the sink, and then return it to Liz before she arrived. The best laid plans for mice and men.

So I went into the men’s bathroom, emptied the contents of the Tupperware into the toilet and flushed. Unfortunately it caused the toilet to overflow! I panicked as I saw the contents spilling out onto the bathroom floor and hors d’oeuvres gliding across the room. I distinctly remember seeing the stuffed mushrooms lead the way.

I ran out of the Men’s room and back to my desk, called Offfice Services and reported a mess in the men’s bathroom on the 27th floor, hoping they could clean it up before anybody else arrived. Not so.

As the men in my department arrived and went into the Men’s Room, from my desk I could hear shouts of  “What the hell”, OMG, Yuck, etc.”  But luckily the mess was all cleaned up before Liz arrived.

When she did, I gave her back the clean Tupperware, saying “Thank you, everything was delicious! To which she asked ‘Which one did you like the best?”

I replied “The stuffed mushrooms!"

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

2018/01/02 - The Beach Ball Story

I was 18 years old. 

Have you seen the movie Saturday Night Fevor? I’m actually a little embarrassed to admit that my friends and I were a lot like the guys in that movie. We would go out to clubs on Friday & Saturday nights, with the sole purpose of picking up chicks. 

We weren’t rich kids, so we would party on the way to the clubs, to save money for inside. 

On this particular night I needed to piss real bad, so I asked the driver to drop me off at the front door of the club, while they parked the car. I told them I’d wait for them in the lobby.

After relieving myself, I went to the lobby and sat down in a comfortable couch to wait for my buddies. 

I was totally wasted, high as a kite. All of a sudden I noticed a huge striped beach ball rocking back-and-forth on the arm chair of my couch. I smiled as I watched it and wondered how they did this. But the all of a sudden it stopped rocking!

So I started pushing on it with both hands, trying to get it rocking again, when it stood up turned around and screamed “What the fuck!”. I suddenly realized that it wasn’t a striped beach ball, it was the ass of a fat woman wearing striped pants. 

I was totally embarrassed and speechless, especially when her large boyfriend confronted me. 

What could I possibly say? How could I explain that I thought his girlfriend’s ass was a giant beach ball?

Luckily my four friends appeared in the lobby to rescue me from getting my ass kicked by her boyfriend. 

Monday, January 1, 2018

2018/01/02 - The Dream Has Become a Nightmare

Sometimes I question how all of you can take this life straight, whereas I’ve always preferred to do it a little bit “high”. Now before you judge me, let me say, I’ve done it both ways, so I consider myself an expert. 

But for this arguement, let’s drop any political correctness. Most of us have jobs the we can’t wait to go home from. Many of us are struggling financially to get by. Many of us are working longer hours and can’t spend hardly any quality time with our kids. 

Life has become very busy with little time for relaxation. 

I realize I’m in a bubble. I live in one of the  richest middle-class bubbles in Colorado, but I can clearly see that within only a few miles away, people are in trouble. 

The “American Dream” has turned into a nightmare. 

When my father (not even a high-school graduate) returned from WW2 (the big one), his future was wide open. The government was going to help him get a loan for a house, give him money for re-aducation, and and the ecominy was such that it enabled a family to live comfortably on ONE average middle class income.  

A man coming home from WW2 was encouraged to open up a small business, like a grocery store, or gas station,. This was truly a time of opertunity for a person who wanted to get ahead. And most everybody wanted to better themselves. 

But today those opportunities are all gone, Chains have taken over all the gas stations, groceries stores, etc. Nowadays you need a million dollars to open up a small business. 

The dream is gone. The dream ‘Only in America, the land of opertunity, can a poor boy like me grow up to be a millionaire” has waken up to witness all those who did succeed, pull up the ladders, preventing everybody else from climbing up. 

So the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.