So I’m lying here in bed with my new puppy in the dark, watching Standups on Netflix.
This is so special. I’m holding her close, and wispering that you and I will be friends for life, at least for my life. I’m telling her that you’re the smartest dog on the whole block, and this is just the beginning of a wonderful life for you! You are just starting life, and you so fucking lucky to have me as your daddy! You could be the luckiest dog in the whole wide world!
But as I’m fondeling her in the dark, I realize she was facing the other way!
I was talking into her asshole!