Luckily Alex liked to keep busy, because busy he became.
His weekdays started with sneaking into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Chances were that mom was already awake, so the slightest noise, a clearing of the throat, a sneeze, even the "finished" tone on the coffee maker would alert his mom that he was awake and he would have to go upstairs to start her daily routine. But if he was lucky and his stealth successful, he could go downstairs to the office and work on the computer until 5:00 AM.
5:00 AM was mom's normal start time. Alex would go into her room and she would be laying silent in the dark and would quickly say "Good Morning". He'd help her out of bed, and walk her to one of her "stations".
She had two stations in the house, one in a leather recliner upstairs, and one in a soft leather sofa on the main floor. Each station was equipped with all her necessities: donut seat cushion, dental floss, Vaseline, heating pad, flyswatter, walker, water, a bottle of Ensure, blankets, a 12.9" iPad Pro, Bose QuietComfort bluetooth headphones, and a button she could press to wirelessly page Alex.
Alex would help her to her morning station, cover her with blankets, turn on her heating pad, turn on "Murder She Wrote" on the iPad, put on her headphones, and leave her for a while before making her breakfast.
Alex was "on call" at the house until 6:00 AM when the rest of the family woke, and was free until 7:25 AM when they left for the day. Alex took advantage of the free time by either going for his daily bike ride or doing grocery shopping. In either case, he would get home in time to say goodby to the family and "I'm home mom" to Lucille since she was afraid to be left alone for ever one minute without panicking.
After taking a shower himself, Alex would go upstairs to help Lucille with her shower. He would show her to the bathroom, turn on the shower water, put the wooden chair in the shower stall, get her a fresh towel, and lay out her clean clothes on the bed. He would tell her "Take your time mom enjoy the shower, get dressed, brush your teeth, and call me when you are ready to go downstairs". Alex would then give her privacy and wait in the next room for what seemed like forever.
Lucille came to Alex's home with an income (social security and a pension), and Alex had no qualms about spending it on her care. He arranged to have a professional caretaker come to the house for three hours each weekday to relieve Alex to go for bike ride or run errands.
Those three hours became precious to Alex, and he didn't waste a minute.
The remainder of the day consisted of making her meals, fixing her iPad problems, offering snacks, administering medication, playing word games with her, and eventually taking her upstairs to bed at 7:30 PM.
Now it's not as if Alex sat around the house drinking beer and watching TV all day before Lucille came to live with him. He was actually already very busy with weekly household chores.
Alex's wife grew up in a culture where household help was inexpensive and trustworthy, and even middle class families had the luxury of help with grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, child care, elder care, etc. Alex was shocked when his wife's family came to visit them in NY and had never before seen what they called the "dish machine".
With Alex's wife working long hours as an architect, needless to say he did the lion's share of the kitchen chores, along with lawn care, trash, yard work, car care, laundry, cooking, shopping, house cleaning, caring for a dog, two cats, a turtle, three very large fish tanks, and of course, his share of parenting for a 12 year old teenage girl.
And now he was care taking for Lucille, handling her mail, paying her bills, and managing her affairs.
It was a huge contrast from the responsibility-free lifestyle he had been living only a half-dozen years earlier, but Alex liked change and knew that this wasn't going to last forever, and when his best friend eventually passed there would be no regrets.
And like I said before, Alex liked being busy and after a while settled into the hecktic routine, and this free time became so special that his life actually seemed better.
He had all his loved ones and pets around him and it felt good.
.....
When my 12 year old step-daughter asks me "How can anybody vote for Trump?", I tell her this:
"You don't know Hillary, and the only reason you like her is that your parents like her."
"Unfortunately your parents don't know Hillary either, and the only reason they like her is because of what they read, watch, and listen to."
"But unfortunately what the read, watch, and listen to may be biased, and even if it's honest, it doesn't tell the whole story.
"And to make maters worse, people are free to choose whatever media they want, and often choose only the media that supports their candidate."
"And if that isn't confusing enough, we live in a post-truth era in the US, where the politicians and media aren't accountable for lying."
"So basically it's really hard to make an intelligent choice."
"I try and hear both sides, but finally go with my gut, hoping I can smell a rat when I see one."
"But don't listen to me, I'm a cynic."
Later,
Steve
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