2018/01/03 - The Stuffed Mushrooms

The year was 1974.

I was working in Texaco headquarters, in the Crystler building, in Manhattan. If I’m not mistaken, I had the lowest pay scale job in Texaco. I was a mail carrier. My fellow mail carriers used to joke, and refer to us as carrier pidgins. This was the best job that my bachelors degree in Psychology from Queens College afforded me. So much for college. I should have excepted the job offer I got from the NYC Sanitation Department. I could have retired after 20 years with full pension and medical benefits, but I had my pride.

I worked hard and within a couple of years got promoted to Mail Clerk, and then Administrative Clerk in the Pattent Department. I was still delivering mail, but only within the department, but I got to do some clerical work in between deliveries. Eventually they realized I had a brain, and started giving me data-entry work for their new computer system.

This brings me to my story...

Liz Grabaldi was my supervisor. She was an Administrative Secretary. We got along very well.

Liz had family coming to visit for a holiday, and spent the entire week before they arrived making hors d’oeuvres. On the Friday morning before the event, Liz brought in a Tupperware for me with samples of each hors d’oeuvre. They looked delicious!

Fast forward to the next Monday morning. I was usually the first one into work in my department, and my desk was in a room right outside the Men’s Room.

When I opened my desk draw, I smelled something foul. OMG!, I forgot to take the Tupperware home, and it sat inside my desk drawer spoiling all weekend.

I felt so bad, and I didn’t want to insult Liz with the news, so I devised a plan. I would go into the men’s bathroom before anybody else arrived, flush the contents of the Tupperware down the toilet, clean it out in the sink, and then return it to Liz before she arrived. The best laid plans for mice and men.

So I went into the men’s bathroom, emptied the contents of the Tupperware into the toilet and flushed. Unfortunately it caused the toilet to overflow! I panicked as I saw the contents spilling out onto the bathroom floor and hors d’oeuvres gliding across the room. I distinctly remember seeing the stuffed mushrooms lead the way.

I ran out of the Men’s room and back to my desk, called Offfice Services and reported a mess in the men’s bathroom on the 27th floor, hoping they could clean it up before anybody else arrived. Not so.

As the men in my department arrived and went into the Men’s Room, from my desk I could hear shouts of  “What the hell”, OMG, Yuck, etc.”  But luckily the mess was all cleaned up before Liz arrived.

When she did, I gave her back the clean Tupperware, saying “Thank you, everything was delicious! To which she asked ‘Which one did you like the best?”

I replied “The stuffed mushrooms!"