Tuesday, April 30, 2019

2019/04/30 - I’m a Yankee

Many years ago I was on a business trip to San Antonio Texas to tutor Microsoft Access to one of the branch office employees. His name was Durwood and he was a very friendly guy. 

In general, the office treated me like a king for the week I was there. They picked me up at the airport, gave me a company car, and took me out to eat every day with the entire small office attending. 

Durwood took about 6 breaks a day to go out the back door and smoke cigarettes. I didn’t smoke at the time, but I would join him for good conversation. During the week I was there, I really felt I had made a bond with Durwood. 

But when it was time to say goodby, he said “Steve, your a pretty good guy, but you know you’re a Yankee.” 

I thought he was kidding, but when I look into his eyes, a realized he was dead serious. 

Friday, April 26, 2019

Q019/04/26 - Drinking Windex

I couple of months ago we had the kitchen floor refinished. The guy who did the work said that all we needed do to maintain the new floor was to wash it with a water and vinegar  mixture. 

I clean the kitchen every Saturday morning. 

The first Saturday morning with the new floor, I searched for a spray container to hold the vineger/water mix. I came across a half bottle of Windex. I knew that I had a spare bottle of Windex in the pantry, so I decided to pour the contents of the half bottle of Windex into something else.

I chose an empty plastic Perrier bottle. 

I can only surmise this, but I must have later mistaken this bottle for a real bottle of Perrier and put it in the fridge. 

My two dogs wake me in the middle of the night to go out and pee at least two times a week. I’ve gotten used to it, and while I’m waiting for them to come back into the house, I’ll take advantage of this time to go pee myself. 

Last night while waiting for the dogs to do their thing, I was thirsty and wanted to get the sleep taste out of my mouth. I searched the fridge for something to drink. 

When I spotted the Perrier bottle I was elated and took a big gulp. 

Yuck!!! What was that? I spit what was left in my mouth into the sink and saw it was blue. It tasted like ammonia, and had a familiar smell. I had no idea what it was. 

It took a while to get that taste out of my mouth, and while falling back to sleep, I wondered if I was going to get sick and possibly wind up in the emergency room. 

It wasn’t until morning that I figured it all out. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

2019/04/10 - Leadership

It was almost by accident that I became the project leader of a new major application “Estimted Sales & Purchases” (ESP). I wasn’t anybody’s first choice. It just so happend they the project leader quit to go back to his DBA responsibilities. He was also very willing to escape an inter-departmental political nightmare.

It was a challenge for me, but as challenges have gone in my life, I gave it 100%. 

To make a long story short, the project was a HUGE success, and after the first executive Marketing meeting since I took on the project, the head of my department came into my private office, shut the door and said “Usually I dread going to these Marketing meetings, but this year was the first time I was proud and got lots of congratulations. And Steve I know it was all because of you”. 

That was one of the best times of my life. I loved going to work each day and I was a rising star. 

Unfortunately the company was taken over by another giant company, huge series of layoffs followed, and eventually the company moved to Houston, except a small satellite Denver office was kept for a few esssntial employees that refused to go. 

I was one of those “essential” employees. 

Needless to say, I committed career suicide by refusing to go to Houston, and eventually lost all my leadership responsibilities. 

Somewhere along this transition, I realized that needed a new project. That’s when I decided to lead an expedition up the tallest mountain in the North America, Denali. 

Most of you know that story. 

I don’t know why leadership was so important to me in those days, I tend to shy away from it now. 

Monday, April 8, 2019

2019/04/08 - Billie

Sometime after about 6 months I started to question Billie’s pedigree. I have the pedigree papers and I paid the pedigree price, but she hasn’t grown up to be a typical Chocolate Lab. 

First off she has this ridge of hair running down her snout. I’ve never seen this in any pictures of Labs. Secondly she has some wavy thick hair on her lower back. My other 2 labs didn’t have this. Lastly she only grew to 55 pounds. My first lab grew to 140 pounds and Trixie weighs about 120 pounds (although she doesn’t let the vet weigh her).

I found that they have dog DNA tests to identify breeds. I want to buy one for Billie and one for Trixie. Val doesn’t want to know, although she ageees with me that Billie is a “fake Lab”. She also loves Billie to death, as do I. 

Billie also has a different personality than my other two labs. 

I just want to know. If she a mix, that’s ok. That’s cool. 

Friday, April 5, 2019

2019/04/05 - What Language?

We all know the story of Adam and Eve and Cain and Able. 

I was thinking the other day that there was a lot of conversation in both those stories with each other and God. 

So I guess all believers in the Old Testament as a Bible (Christians, Muslims, and Jews?) have to acknowledge that man was created with a language. 

But what language was that? 

And if we are all descendents of Adam and Eve, why do we have so many different languages? Wouldn’t we want to speak in the language of God?

So if we all came from Adam and Eve and they spoke a language, then theoretically this language is the origin of all the different languages on planet Earth. 


Wednesday, April 3, 2019

2019/04/03 - Can Biden Survive?

Does Biden have the power to survive the MeToo attack?

If he doesn’t, it’s better he drop out of the race right now.

He would never survive running against a candidate  who has the power to survive grabbing pussies and sleeping with porn stars. 

In my opinion it’s all about power.

Monday, April 1, 2019

2018/04/01 - The Impossible Whopper

Burger King will be introducing “The Impossible Whopper” a meatless version of The Whopper. 

Supposedly they taste tested it on Burger King employees and they couldn’t tell the difference from the original Whopper. 

Check out the whole New York Times story.